thankful sunday

pretty much how i feel on sundays. ha!

sundays are the hardest.  i don't know if it's because i feel like it's supposed to be a special day of rest and i feel like it's a day of scrambling.  or if it's because i have this expectation we will spend time as a family and we only do for a few hours.  who knows.  but sundays are hard.  and today i've been grumpy.  and last sunday i was grumpy too.  so in an attempt to try to change my sunday, i'm going to write a list of things i'm thankful for-connected to the things that i feel like are making my life hard right now.  finding the silver lining you could say.  here goes.

1) branden is gone doing his calling all day.  i hate having him gone.  getting to church by myself and then wrangling both the kids by myself is hard.  changing diapers, feeding the baby, and doing all that by myself is hard.  but i'm thankful that he is worthy to hold a calling.  that he is living his life in a way that he can be trusted to serve. i'm married to a wonderful man.

2) i am not good at getting to church.  no matter how well i try to plan, i'm late, i'm flustered, and i'm on the verge of tears.  having naps go willy nilly and dealing with grumpy kids takes its toll.  but i'm grateful i can go to church every week.  i have the gospel in my life and have the opportunity to be taught the most important lessons of life and renew my covenants with heavenly father every week.

3) being overwhelmed makes me not able to hold a conversation at church.  getting to know new people has not been a strength of mine-i'm so wrapped up in trying to hold it together, that i'm awful at introducing myself to others.  which i feel guilty about the entire time i'm at church.  but i'm grateful i even have people to talk to.  i'm not isolated in the least-i'm part of a community and am a part of that community whether i am able to pull myself out of my shell or not. and i'm grateful for that.

 i'm feeling better already.  i'm going to go make myself some cookies.