grandpa's burial

my sweet grandfather passed away in january.  we made last minute flight reservations to get us out there in time for the funeral, but due to the crazy winter weather that new york has had, our flight was cancelled.  i called the airline to see if anything could be done and they said that there were NO flights leaving that day.  on any airline.  and then i cried.  that poor woman on the other end of the line didn't know what to do.  two flight reservations later- a layover in houston and a 8 hour day-we made it out to san clemente.  we missed the funeral but we were able to make it for the burial.  and i'm so glad we did.  

my grandfather was a veteran of world war II, serving on a air transport boat in the pacific.  and so as a result of his service-he had the right to be buried in a military cemetary.   

friday morning, my parents, branden, the kids and i made our way down to the cars to drive to the burial.  we climbed in my parent's van (which was a special van that could fit his wheelchair in it), buckled up, and started the car.  and it wouldn't move.  the engine started, but it wouldn't move.  steering wheel seemed to be out too.  we had left in time to go to the funeral-but not in enough time to have someone come fix the car.  we all sat there trying to think of what to do next.  finally, my dad suggested that we go on without him.  branden and i had rented a car-but it would only fit one additional person.  my dad didn't feel he could be carried from his wheelchair to the car and then to the burial site.  and he did not want us to miss the burial since it was the only part of the services that we were going to be able to attend (and the only part left).  it was a split second decision, and we decided he was right.  we piled in our car and left my dad teary eyed in the parking garage.

over the next 30 minutes we called all of the family members who were attending-trying to figure out how we might be able to get my father there.  at one point we turned around, thinking that we could probably have branden carry my father into the car, and have branden stay at the hotel instead.  but military burials do not allow any delays.  families are told to be there 30 minutes in advance and told that there will be no delay in starting the ceremony.  after we went about 6 miles, we realized there would not be enough time to get my father in the car and still attend the burial.  it was absolutely heartbreaking.  and we all were in tears.  with heavy hearts we turned back around to attend the burial.  luckily, technology saved the day.  my father was skyped in to the ceremony and was able to see and hear the whole thing.  he didn't get to dedicate the grave of his father-but he at least got to witness his mother being handed the flag.

my dad wrote a note to me of how he felt about everything that happened- and i can't help but include it below.  i will treasure the memory of this day always.

Thank you for coming to San Clemente! You can't even imagine how much it meant to me (and Grandma) to have you there for Dad's burial in San Diego. For me, that was the most emotional day of my trip. When the rental car wouldn't work, we all sat there in the garage wondering what to do. The military ceremony at Miramar National Cemetery was going to start on time whether we were there or not and it was an hour away. We had about 5 minutes to decide what to do. I couldn't get my wheelchair into your rental car and I had a stomach ache, so I decided to stay at the hotel. You guys had flown all the way from New York for this 30 minute final goodbye to Grandpa, so it would have been tragic for you to miss it. Mom and I decided she should go to represent me. So you guys left for San Diego and I returned to the hotel. . . When the key to the room wouldn't work I lost it. I was missing my father's burial, I couldn't get into my room, my phone battery was almost dead, I had MS, my stomach hurt, the Rockies are going to have a lousy team again in 2014 . . . so I was outside my room crying and the VERY nice man in the hotel office saw me. He opened my door, plugged in my phone and told me to call him if I needed anything. The rest of the day just got better and better. Now I know that I go too far in finding eternal lessons in everyday events, but bear with me. I was alone, separated from my wife and sad. I had a little taste of what my mother must be feeling, being separated from her husband of 65 years. (She kissed him on the forehead and said "See you soon!" in the hospital room 5 minutes after he was pronounced dead.) Things got a lot better for me when Branden successfully Skyped me so I could see and hear everything that was going on (kind of like the veil was parted?). Then the day got very good when you all returned to the hotel. There was sweet Henrietta smiling like she always does and making it impossible to be sad around her. Then Hugo grabbed my knees and said "Ride? Ride? Ride? . . . Lap? Lap? Lap?" He is only two, but he has already learned the power of the oratory technique of saying things in groups of three. We really enjoyed seeing you. Thanks again for coming! Mom and I woke up at 5:30 this morning and we both are in bed as I write this. Reliving that day has made me cry again, except this time I am holding Mom's hand. Anyway, I am happy now. I haven't asked you lately - are you happy? We love you all. 

Dad